I am a morning person. Usually gets up at 5am and starts my day checking emails with a cup of coffee. This morning, I wanted to write something but I really don’t know what to blog about. All I know is – I NEED TO WRITE. So, I figured that I will just jot down anything that comes to mind and I won’t even think so much on typo errors, grammar and spelling. Give me a break! This girl needs to let go… ahora mismo!
I want to cry. Yes, that is exactly what I wanna do now. Why? I don’t know! Don’t get me wrong – things couldn’t be better in my life now. Last night, I wasn’t feeling all too well so I went to bed early while listening to the radio. Mushy me tuned in to 96.3, that Light Rock station but instead of the usual love songs, they were playing old dance music from the 70s and 80s. Those old rhythm usually lift my spirits but last night, it had the opposite effect. A wave of nostalgic emotions took over and every beat was like a vise-grip squeezing my heart. So I changed the station only to collide head on with this haunting song… “and when hope was out of sight on that starry, starry night… you took your life as lovers often do…” Dang it!
I usually have these “emotional spells”. If you know me well enough, you would know that sometimes, when I really am very happy, like “on top of the world” happy, I stop and cry… as if I couldn’t take the euphoria anymore. Am I crazy? Nah… I’m just being me and I know I am not alone in this. See, last Wednesday, I had frappuccino with a friend. She and I were discussing our happy state when voila – we both started crying!!! Then I realized I was wearing a liquid eyewriter so I stopped. I don’t want to look like a raccoon in Starbucks! Dang!
I just received a call from a friend with some good news. Hmmm…. Now I have an urge to go out and let things be. Happiness can be scary… at least for me. I always have this silly (but sometimes awfully true) notion that when you are really happy, then something really sad will follow.
But at this moment, I think I need to accept the fact that hey, it is okay to be really happy even when millions are not.
written last year but it sort of reflected my current status, hence, i have to post it.
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